A to55er is my generic name for a person with personalized car number plates. OK I can just about excuse someone whose name is, let’s say for argument, Virgil Darcy, and they suffer such a large ego that they feel compelled to display the number plate VD 1. This to me just says “The person inside this car has a large ego and a very small d1ck”.

It’s the car owners so desperate for some sort of recognition that they convince themselves that a 3 is an E and an 8 is a B, that feel compelled to re-space the letters and numbers and even make use of the screws that hold the number plate in place in a desperate attempt to spell their name that I’m referring to. These are the also-rans; the ones on this planet just making up the numbers.

If it was up to me I’d have all these men – and I’m pretty sure they are all undersized men – rounded up, issued with high-visibility yellow jackets displaying to55er in large black letters on the back, and made to do community service.





I can allow this.

I can allow this.



6 Responses to to55er

  1. Elaine says:

    You do realise that most of these number plates are illegal, don’t you?

    Just conntact your local Police Station and they will advise you of the spacing required.

    Mind you, if boys can get a new identity after brutally murdering a wee boy, surely this is small fry?

    • to55er says:

      What a surprise! If I’d known you were tuning into this blog I’d have written something more intellectual. Mind you, I’m just about at my intellectual limits as it is. Yes I do know these number plates are illegal, and if it was up to me I’d have all the cars that sport them crushed, along with their owners. Also I take your point regarding the killers of Jamie Bulger. I’d have them crushed as well.

  2. Great blog! would you be interested in turning it into a great book to be proud of!! Let me know if you are!! Thank you.. IJ

  3. eric says:

    Yep it’s only arrogant twats who think they are above the law who indulge in this kind of nonsense. A fellow cop of mine advises that the individuals sign a disclaimer stating that they know the number plate is illegal when they buy it. So what does this tell us about the Brits? – they don’t listen to the rules because they know nothing will happen to them!!

  4. Tori says:

    Love your blog! Sadly, the Stupid-Word-Plate is a universal issue. In my Tennessee neighborhood alone, we have a NO DOUT and a NGGA PLZ. I guess creativity should count for something?


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